Dog owners often surrender their dog to shelters for reasons that are within our control to address, leading to the possibility of emerging out on the other side happier and healthier. Of course, there are circumstances that come up that are out of the owner’s control and that is justifiable despite still being heartbreaking. For example, it’s growing incredibly difficult to find housing for rent that allows pets. It’s also fair to say that people unexpectedly grow ill and can no longer take care of their pets. Although I believe you should always have a backup guardian for your pets set up and put on paper as an agreement with that person, I understand that life throws unexpected things at us all and no one is or needs to be perfect. I’m not here to shame anyone or judge their situations, but I am here to help with this issue and give some advice on the preventable circumstances that are leading to miserable lives, or even death, for our pets that I see happening all the time.
A huge reason why dogs are given up to shelters is because the dog has behavioral issues. This can be anything from the dog pulling on leash to full on aggression. Both and everything in between are completely manageable in most cases. It’s very rare that a dog’s neurological condition prevents them from overcoming unwanted behaviors. The real issue is that the owner, or handler as I prefer to say, doesn’t yet know the correct way to communicate with their dog that leads to overcoming the behavior.
We humans have come a long way in our relationship with dogs, and I fear we are now guiding that evolution in the wrong direction. We taught wolves to not eat our children in order to keep being on good terms with the humans that fed them. We bred those wolves in such a way that got us the first breeds of the domesticated dog based off of their parent’s traits that best served tasks we needed their help with. We continued that evolution in a revolutionarily short amount of time to enhance the breeds, aiding us in farming, hunting, protection, war, and servicing the less capable. We fell in love with these animals that were once just beasts to us and only served as villains in cautionary tales. We developed sports to showcase the ability we had to communicate with them and how well we could develop their skill sets. Now they stay at home on your couch while you live your life, only used as part time companions. Stripped of their instinct to belong to a pack and be with others most of the day. Stripped of their responsibility that gave them purpose. And recently, stripped of the balance that every relationship requires.
When there is a lack of balance in a relationship, one side of the party gets and does whatever they want while the other grows frustrated and unfulfilled. This, of course, can be subtle or it can be extreme. Typically with dogs it’s extreme one way or another. Whether it is just pulling on leash or full on aggression, it can end in someone getting hurt and the handler to view the dog negatively. After enough of these negative experiences the handler will either decide to live miserably with the dog that knows no better or decide to end the relationship. Neither are necessary, yet both are most common.
Even when you reach out to a professional dog trainer it’s rare for the handler to continue with enough sessions to see results, put in enough practice as is required, and for the trainer to actually teach you the most important thing every dog handler needs to know, mindset. This poorly constructed transaction leads to a waste of money, a complete loss of faith, and even more resentment towards your dog. So what is the correct mindset of a dog handler?
The correct mindset of a dog handler is a fair and just mindset. It empowers the handler to lead without being a tyrant to the dog. If the dog misbehaves, the handler appropriately corrects the dog verbally or physically without being cruel in their correction. If the dog blows you off when you try to recall them, the handler goes and gets the dog calmly and brings them to where they want them and then continues working on it, maybe even leashing the dog up to assure they can get them to come back. If the dog is skittish, the handler is patient with the dog without babying them to the point where the dog feels reinforced in their fear. In an extreme example, when an aggressive dog bites a handler, the handler doesn’t fight back or take it personally. They just get the dog off calmly and continue working on the thing that triggered the bite. If you say, “sit”, that means the dog needs to sit to get the treat. Not lay down, not get the treat and leave, just sit.
The correct mindset of a dog handler is balanced. You can’t be a jerk to the dog, but you also can’t let your dog get away with murder. More often than not, I have to teach handlers to be more assertive with their dogs. The tools they use even show their mindset. I know their hearts are in the right place, but they’re doing their dogs a huge disservice by not teaching them boundaries. I can guess the dog on the harness and retractable leash is going to be reactive before I even see the first sign of reactivity. And dragged behind them is their enabling helicopter parent who is so embarrassed by their dog’s behavior around others that they cross the street as soon as they see me walking towards them with my dog unwaveringly next to me on or off leash.
Sure the correction may seem like it would hurt you, but you are not a dog. You don’t naturally walk on all fours and your mother, hopefully, didn’t pick you up by the neck in your youth. Some dogs don’t care about corrections and that’s why the prong collar exists. Even still, plenty of reactive dogs do not show any response with the use of a prong collar. Do not let your emotions get in the way of your dog having a good and healthy life and mindset. You’ll get to the ultimate goal of trusting your dog off leash in any environment faster by using the correct tools and methods along with having the right mindset. A good mindset is the most important tool of all. It is not weak, but it is not tyrannical either. You need to find balance in nurture and assertion. Love and clear boundaries. Mother and father in one.
This may seem so far off from where you’re at right now with your dog who you have unintentionally let run your household and maybe even your life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get there. I want to encourage you to find your voice with your dog. I can’t tell you how many of my clients have told me that training their dog this way has helped them get through things that caused them anxiety that aren’t even dog related, like asking their boss for a raise for all of the hard work they do or setting a boundary with their romantic partner. I’m all for loving your dog, not hurting animals, respect, empathy, companionship, and even positive reinforcement. The issue I have though is that there’s three other methods within the four quadrants of learning besides positive reinforcement and they are being shamed and forced out of dog training all together by good hearted people that aren’t looking at the whole picture.
I have actually been rejected by animal shelters when I offered to help train their dogs so they would get adopted before the shelter KILLS the dog because they don’t have space just because I told them I used corrections as a part of training. That is how twisted and politicized dog training methods have become and the majority of people don’t see the hypocrisy in their views. A reactive dog needs corrections to learn that there’s a difference between it being a choice and a command. This leads to a happier and healthier dog that will not need to be put down. Corrections are not permanent, but euthanasia is. Once the dog learns they get treats for doing the right thing and are corrected for doing what they know they shouldn’t do, the dog chooses not to do something that they know will earn them a correction.
We obviously should make training full of as much positive reinforcement as possible, but when the dog is doing something that could actually get them hurt or just blowing me off when we’ve done the exercise numerous times and they aren’t interested in toys or treats, I will correct them. I don’t need to leave the environment because the dog’s distracted when I can teach the dog that they need to pay attention to me. You shouldn’t aim to hurt the dog with the correction. You should aim to get their attention back on you and then use something they like to keep their attention and reinforce that it’s a way better time when they pay attention to you.
I’m going on about this so much because it describes the battle I have with so many people who are just trying to look out for their dog, but don’t see what their actions are doing to the dog’s long term wellbeing. This is the mindset dog handlers need. You should love your dog with all of your heart, but don’t let them become wolves again. They’re dogs because we gave them boundaries and structure. If you take that away we’re going to lose them.
I hope this has helped. This was an intense one, but we all need to become passionate about this topic because there is so much happening in the dog world at the human level that is doing our fur babies a huge disservice and will lead to even worse of an outcome. Please feel free to reach out if you’re struggling with your mindset as a dog handler and I will guide you the best I can.